


The One With the Dinner Party From Hell

by SuperFriends (Hokum)



Series: Cupids Chokehold [1]
Category: From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series
Genre: Angst and Humor, Brotherly Love, Drunk Kate is Hilarious, Drunkenness, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Girl Fight, Richie Just Wants to Talk About Polar Bears, Seth is So Done, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 09:54:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10554340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hokum/pseuds/SuperFriends
Summary: When Vanessa organised a dinner party for her boss and work colleagues she planned on it being a sophisticated, tasteful affair. What she didn't count on was her husband inviting his lunatic brother and his prissy little girlfriend. As the alcohol flows and the pressure to be perfect mounts, old family wounds are brought up and Vanessa’s perfect evening descends into the night from hell.





	

“SETH!!”

Vanessa’s loud voice echoed through from the kitchen for what seemed like the hundredth time that day, causing Seth to let out another groan of frustration. His wife had been on edge all week, ever since she had proudly announced to Seth that they would be hosting a dinner party for her boss and some of her work colleagues. This had been met with minimal enthusiasm by Seth; he'd never even been to a dinner party let alone hosted one. He’d been up and down from the couch like a yo-yo all day, ever since Vanessa had jumped out of bed at the crack of dawn and turned the kitchen into a war zone. Seth wouldn't have minded so much but Vanessa seemed to have got it into her head that he should also be awake and alert at the same time she was. This did not sit well with Seth. Saturday mornings were supposed to be spent recovering from the hangover you had from the night before; not washing up a mountain of pots and pans and counting out desert spoons. Unfortunately,  nothing would deter Vanessa once she got something like this into her head; no matter how uninterested her husband appeared to be.  She kept telling him that "This is what married couples do!" when he’d begged her to call the whole thing off. The large part of his brain that keeps telling him he should never have gotten married in the first place keeps blaring like an alarm bell whenever Vanessa tries to force him to do stuff like this. They're relationship had been toxic to begin with, built on a foundation of drugs and mistrust, and Seth still didn't know what on earth possessed him to think that getting married would fix all their problems. He’s pretty sure he was drunk or just wanted an excuse for her to stop nagging him twenty four seven when he proposed. The whole wedding passed by in a blur of alcohol and anxiety and whenever he looks at the picture, a tacky Vegas printout, it feel like he wasn't even there. Everyone had warned him that this was a bad idea but by that point Vanessa was hell bent on getting married and Seth’s ego wouldn’t allow him to admit he'd made a mistake. Plus, Vanessa would probably chain him to the bed if she knew about the many times he’d considered climbing out the bathroom window in the middle of the night and never going back. 

It’s not all bad he supposes as he turns up the volume on the TV to drown out Vanessa’s yelling; the sex is still good at least.They'll have a period of a few weeks when they wont fight or get drunk and yell at each other and Seth will start to think that maybe he can live with his decision. Its just the whole being married thing makes him feel like he's being pressurised into this perfect cookie cutter life that he's just not cut out for. He wants to be out in bars, drinking and having a good time, not stuck at home baking cookies or whatever crap Vanessa can come up with to keep him at home. This dinner party just seems to be another way for his wife to try and keep him trapped in this suburban nightmare. Living all the way out here in the 'burbs was another thing that was causing Seth major anxiety. Everything out here was just so neat and tidy and perfect; he hated it. How he ended up all the way out here in an entrapment of beige furnishing and white glossy walls Seth still couldn't quite figure out. One minute he'd been living with Richie in a shitty apartment and then the next thing he knew, Richie was being shipped off to live with Uncle Eddie and Seth was left staring at a moving van and a brochure for a perfectly ordinary two bedroom house all the way out in the suburbs. 

Vanessa suddenly appears in the doorway, her face bright red and her hair a frizzy mess, holding a spatula and wearing a frown.

 

"Didn't you hear me?" She scolds as she fans her face with her hand, "I've been yelling for you for ages!"

 

"All right, all right!" Seth bursts out, "Just give me a minute!”

 

"Well don't be too long," Vanessa huffed, "I've got jobs for you to do."

 

Seth waits until she's back inside the kitchen before he turns the volume up on the TV again and goes back to the film he'd been watching. Vanessa had been in the kitchen all day, alternating between actually cooking things and yelling angrily at Seth for not helping her. Why on earth she wanted Seth's help with anything cooking related was still a mystery. He'd once accidentally hospitalised Richie with severe food poisoning when he had tried to grill some chicken and ever since then he'd been reluctant to make anything more basic than a sandwich. There was more banging from the kitchen so Seth turned the volume up even louder to try and drown out the sounds of Vanessa swearing away to herself. She'd been a complete nightmare to live with ever since her boss had promoted her to be his assistant at the government office where she worked. Seth couldn't really see the appeal of running around after her bosses lazy ass all day but Vanessa was acting like she was Erin Brockovich. It wouldn't have bothered him so much, but she came home almost every night with some boring ass story about her work colleagues that Seth had no interest in hearing about. To be honest, Seth couldn't stand it when Vanessa tried to tell a story; there was never any real plot and she always seemed angry with some woman called Stacey. Alongside the terrible work stories and Seth had also noticed that Vanessa had even started dressing more conservatively. Gone were the short skirts and thigh high boots, only to be replaced with knit cardigans and weird dresses that made her look about fifty.She had even tried to get him to go to a farmers market with a bunch of them a few weeks ago but he flat out refused. He's sure they're all very nice people; they're just not his people and Vanessa's obsession with turning him into some middle class suburbanite was beginning to take its toll on him. He could really do with a beer right now which was turning into another problem.The amount of alcohol he'd been consuming over the past year had been steadily increasing. He'd always been a bit of a drinker, especially in social situations, and he’d been drinking a lot more lately just to cope with the pressure of being stuck all the way out here with Vanessa.

 

"You're not even dressed yet!”

 

Vanessa was back and wanting him to get the fancy plates down from on top of the cupboard. Seth didn't see why they couldn't just use paper plates; it would save a lot of time on the washing up. Vanessa had almost burst a blood vessel when he suggested this and had instead opted for some extremely expensive plates that she wouldn't let Seth touch until the dinner party.

 

“I’ll get dressed later,” Seth wines as he follows her into the kitchen. He's wearing what every other person wears on a Saturday evening whilst they're watching the tv; a tank top and boxer shorts. 

 

“Who is even coming to this thing any?” Seth asks as he starts pulling out plates from the box of new stuff that Vanessa had ordered. 

 

“Well, there’s my boss Dale and his wife Crissy,” Vanessa reels off as she starts staring something creamy looking in a pan, “Sharon and Bob and Phoebe and Greg.”

 

“All those names you just said?” Seth says as grabs a beer out of the fridge and flicks the cap off, “No idea who they are.”

 

Vanessa slammed the lid on the pot she was stirring and turned to face him; her expression one of exasperation and anger. She's got a smear of potato across her cheek but Seth thinks now is probably not a good time to mention it.

 

“That’s because you don’t listen!” she nags, “I talk about them all the time but you obviously don’t care! Unless its something to do with that lunatic of a brother of your’s you couldn't give a shit!”

 

Seth had been wondering when Richie's name was going to pop up in all of this. Vanessa seemed to have the magic ability to make whatever problem they had always relate back Richie, not matter how ridiculous that was. Seth's relationship with his brother was another bone of contention within their marriage. Apparently it wasn't normal to want to spend ninety percent of your time with your brother instead of your wife. At least Richie didn't yell at him over china patterns. He hadn't even seen Richie in forever because Vanessa kicks up such a fuss every time Seth tries to arrange something, that it’s easier to cancel and not have to go through an argument every time he wants to hang out with Richie. Refusing to stand up to his wife over her issues with his brother has solved exactly zero problems and has only led to Richie's feelings being hurt whenever Seth fobs him off with another lame excuse. Richie is far from stupid and clearly knows that Seth is lying to him which makes Seth just feel even more like an asshole. He'd been texting Richie earlier to get his opinions on an old Chuck Noris film that was on TV but his attempts at conversation had been met with frosty resilience. No matter how hard Seth tries, Vanessa just can’t seem to get along with Richie.

 

Case en point; a few months ago Seth, Vanessa, Richie and Kate had all gone bowling together on what was supposed to be a nice, fun family activity. Or so he had hoped. Uncle Eddie had started taking them to the bowling alley as soon as they were old enough to walk, there’s even a picture hanging up in Eddie’s workshop of a three year old Seth on the kids lane with Richie crawling around on the floor near his feet. The competition between the pair of them over who is the better bowler is fierce and often resulted in a vicious trade of insults and teasing. Basically normal Gecko behaviour. The night didn't get off to a great start due to the fact that Vanessa had never been bowling before and seemed reluctant to even put on the gross alley shoes. She had then snapped at Seth for laughing at her when it became apparent how terrible she was and refused to let him try and help her. Kate was pretty shocking as well but at least she was willing to laugh at herself when she got her third gutter ball in a row or almost took out the ceiling with a rather energetic throw. Kate also didn't mind Richie trying to help her by explaining how to bowl the ball better using “scientific and mathematical study”. It worked though and Kate got a little better under his direction. Vanessa, on the other hand, wasn't so keen on accepting Richie's help and had thought his tips on thermo dynamics and “calculating the distance between the ball divided by the sum weight of your ankle” was him making fun of her. It hadn't helped matters when Richie had started to draw her a very complex mathematical diagram to indicate how Vanessa could be a better bowler if she just applied herself. Even when Seth had stepped in and tried to explain that Richie was just trying to help her, in his own way, and that maybe if she just got to know him a little better than she would've realised that. He didn't get much further than that as Vanessa threw her drink over him and shouted that she had no interest in getting to know his “crazy ass brother.” After that nobody was really in the mood for bowling and once he’d dropped off Richie and Kate back at Eddie’s, he proceeded to have a five hour argument with Vanessa over who had ruined the night. He can sense that they're starting to head towards argument territory so he tries to defuse the situation as best he can, the last thing he wants to deal with right now is an irate Vanessa.

 

“Honey, I do care,” Seth protested as he gives her the old puppy dog eyes, “I’m sorry ok? I’ve just had a lot going on with the bar this month and I’ve had all Eddie’s stuff to sort out.”

 

Uncle Eddie had sadly departed from the world a couple of months ago and it was something that both Gecko’s were still struggling to deal with; Eddie had been the only real family they'd ever had. Richie was still living with Kate in Eddie’s old house whilst they tried to figure out what to do with all of their Uncles stuff. Vanessa, seemingly satisfied with Seth’s excuse for not listening to her, turns her attention back to her cooking.

 

“Did you ask Richie about Eddies house like I told you to?” Vanessa queried as she starts pulling out all the knives and forks they own and polishing them until they gleam brightly in the kitchen lights.

 

“Oh not this again!” Seth groaned as he threw his hands up in exasperation, “I told you, I’m not selling Eddie’s house!”

 

They’d been having a variation of this argument almost every week ever since Eddie had died. It didn't matter how many times that Seth told her that he couldn't sell Eddie’s house even if he’d wanted too; the will had stated that all of Eddie’s assets be left to both Seth and Richie equally. 

 

“For god sake Seth! That house is worth a lot of money,” Vanessa yells back as she marches past him into the dinning room and throws the cutlery onto the table, “Think what we could do with it!”

 

“Let me just make it real clear for you,” Seth tells her firmly, “I'm not kicking Richie out of Eddies house, end of discussion!”

 

Vanessa ignores his warning and only continues to try and push Seth on the issue. Eddie hadn’t even liked Vanessa, he was always polite to her but he made his feelings perfectly clear when Seth was alone with him. 

 

“Well at least get them to pay you rent!” she told him as she turns around to face him, her hand on her hip, “Why should they get to live there for free?”

 

“Vanessa; I’m not making my brother pay me rent to live somewhere that’s been the only real home he’s ever known,” Seth warns, “Now drop it!”

 

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Vanessa sighs as she rolls her eyes and heads back into the over heated kitchen, “He can find his own place with that holier-than-thou girlfriend of his.”

 

“He’s not ready to say goodbye yet!” Seth snaps as he throws himself back down onto the couch, “And lay off Kate, she’s a nice girl.”

 

“It’s creepy living in a house where somebody died,” Vanessa calls out from the kitchen, “And the last time I was there he had Eddie’s ashes sitting out on the coffee table!”

 

“Oh please, it’s so Eddie can watch TV with them,” Seth argued, “You’re making him sound like Ed fricken Gein!”

 

“Who?” Vanessa asks before adding, “And that girlfriend of his is a stuck up little cow.”

 

“Whatever,” Seth mutters under his breath; he already needs a drink and its barely gone five o clock. This is how it always starts with the two of them and before long they're picking and needling at each other until they're in a full on screaming match. If Vanessa had her way she would have Seth cut Richie out of their life completely. She wouldn’t even go to Family Dinner night at Eddie’s when Richie was there and would kick off if Seth even suggested going without her. Or, if by some miracle, they did end up going some minor infraction would set Vanessa off and they would end up in a huge row. More than once they’d had to leave early just so they wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s night. Seth just doesn’t understand why Vanessa doesn’t get the fact that he needs his brother. All Richie and Seth have ever had is each other and, yes, they might have a very codependent relationship but Seth honestly doesn't know what he’s do without his brother. Luckily Vanessa has once again become distracted by her cooking to re-hash the Uncle Eddie argument. Good, maybe Seth can have some peace for a minute or two. He turns the TV volume up again just as Vanessa rushes past him and starts opening all the cupboards in a rather frenzied state. 

 

“I’m so behind,” She fusses as she starts hunting through the cupboards for something, “I haven't even set the table yet!”

 

 “Well Richie and kate will be here in a few,” Seth informs her as he chugs on his beer, “I’m sure they can lend a hand.”

 

There was a loud crashing noise as Vanessa drops all the serving platters she was holding and spins around to face him, a vein pulsing in her forehead.

 

“What?!” she splutters, “Seth; please tell me you did not invite them!”

 

“Of course I invited them!” Seth answers incredulously, “Why wouldn't I invite them?”

 

“Seth,” Vanessa says though gritted teeth as she tries to contain her anger, “This is a sophisticated dinner party, not quiz night at the psych ward!”

 

“Hey! Lay off Vanessa,” Seth warns, he’s told her enough times not to pick on Richie like that, “And don't be saying any of that shit tonight, Richie’s still torn up over Eddie.”

 

“Oh for gods sake,” Vanessa chides as she stomps back into the kitchen, “That was months ago! I don't see you still moping about. He’s just doing it for attention. Besides, It’s couples only so they can’t come”

 

“Well what do you think they are?” Seth shot back; he knew he was playing with fire inviting Richie and Kate without asking Vanessa before hand but this is ridiculous.

 

“Well its married couples only then!” Vanessa retorts childishly as she struggles to think of a reason why Richie and Kate should be excluded from her dinner party.

 

“Oh come on, don’t be ridiculous,” Seth says as he goes back to his beer, “Besides, they'll be here in a minute.”

 

“I don’t even have enough food for them!” Vanessa mutters wildly as she starts clanking pots and pans around again in the kitchen.

 

“Would you calm down please?” he calls out to her from the couch, “You’ve been in there all day; I’m pretty sure there’s enough food to go round.

 

“Fine! As usual your brother takes precedence over anything I do or say,” Vanessa rants as she comes barging back into the living room and stands in front of the tv so Seth has no choice but to listen to her, “He can’t say anything weird or start spouting off that stupid shit that he normally does.”

 

“OK!” Seth shouts back as he tries to peer around her to watch the tv; asking Richie not to say weird stuff would like asking the sky not to be blue.

 

Vanessa isn’t done yet though and she snatches up the remote and turns the tv off.

 

“Hey!” Seth complains, “I was watching that!” 

 

“And if that girl rolls her eyes at me one more time,” Vanessa hisses venomously as she jabs her finger at Seth, “I'm gonna start swinging.”

 

Apparently Vanessa’s wrath was not confined to just Richie; it also spilled over to his girlfriend Kate as well. Seth had hoped that once Richie got himself a girlfriend and didn't rely on Seth so much for his daily dose of human contact that Vanessa would chill out a bit. Having another girl for her to talk to might ease the pressure on Seth and allow him and Richie to spend some quality time together without her throwing a fit. Unfortunately, Vanessa had decided that Kate was "just as strange and weird as Richie" and merely sectioned off a portion of all the hatred she had for Richie and dumped it onto Kate. Seth has no idea what that’s all about; Kate is like a literal ball of sunshine. Was it too much to ask they couldn't all just get along? Kate isn't exactly Vanessa’s biggest fan either but she hides it much better, except for the eye rolling incident, and she doesn’t flip out whenever Seth wants to have Richie all to himself for a bit.

 

“I’ll tell him to behave,” Seth affirmed, “And Kate will keep her eyeballs under control.”

 

Vanessa sucks in a huge breath and is almost about to explode but is cut off by the doorbell ringing. Seth leaves her standing there whilst he goes to answer the door. Its clear as soon as he opens the door that he's caught Richie and Kate mid conversation.

 

"... evening with that awful... Oh hey Seth!" Kate gushes as she smiles brightly up at him. Richie isn’t quite as good at pretending they weren't just talking about Vanessa as he instantly stares guiltily at the floor.

 

"Evening Midget," Seth laughs as he pulls Kate into a hug.

 

"I told you not to call me that," Kate grumps as she hugs him back.

 

“Hey Buddy!” Seth beams as he pulls Richie into a tight hug which is returned somewhat by his brother but with nowhere near the usually warmth and enthusiasm he usually gets. Seth glances at Kate who gives him a rather tight smile and hands him over a bottle of bourbon with a bow on it.

 

“I thought we could do with this tonight,” She explains as Seth ushers them both inside.

 

There’s an awkward pause as they encounter Vanessa in the living room as she clearly looks pissed off at having Kate and Richie inside her home.  

 

“I brought reinforcements," Seth declares loudly in an attempt to cover up the awkwardness, "Richie go help Vanessa lay the table.”

 

Richie glances at Kate before he reluctantly heads over to help Vanessa sort out the cutlery. Its probably a bad idea to leave the three of them alone but Seth is still standing about in his underwear. Once he's thrown some clothes on he returns to find Kate all but biting her tongue as Vanessa explains to Richie how she wants the table set. It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't talking to him like he was child and not a fully grown man with an IQ of 180.

 

"So," Seth jokes, "We all getting along in here?"

 

All three look back at him in varying stages of annoyance so he shuts up. Vanessa doesn't seem too thrilled about trusting Richie with any of the knives and is following him around adjusting all the cutlery as soon as he puts it down.

 

“Careful!” Vanessa hisses as Richie accidentally nudges a wine glass a millimeter out of place whilst laying down a fork.

 

Kate is looking more and more pissed off by the minute and Seth can see her hands balled up into tiny fists as Vanessa starts barking at Richie again.

 

"How many people are coming to this thing?" Richie asks as he sets down the last set of cutlery.

 

“Six,” Vanessa snaps as she begins folding the napkins into a bizarrely complicated pattern, "Seth and I make eight."

 

“Don’t you mean ten, with me and Kate?” Richie inquires with a frown as he looks down at the place settings on the table, “You’re two settings short. That’s just basic math Vanessa.”

 

“I didn't know you were coming up until about five minutes ago,” Vanessa seethed as she fiddles with her napkins, “You and Kate are sitting over there.”

 

She gestures over to the end of the table where she had set out the rickety looking card table from the garage and two non-matching lawn chairs. Richie looks like he's about to say something but is instantly cut off by Vanessa as she snatches the last of the desert spoons out of his hand and pushes him out of the way.

 

“It has to be done properly!” she protested, "You need to pay attention to what I'm saying to you!"

 

“I’ll just go put this in the fridge,” Seth mumbles quietly just Vanessa starts telling Richie off for moving the breadbasket out of its designated area.

 

“I’ll help,” Kate volunteered as she heads off towards the kitchen, leaving Seth to trail after her.

 

 

Before Seth can even get a word out Kate shuts the kitchen door and starts laying into him. 

 

“Richie isn’t going to say this to you but I will,” she cautioned, her arms folded as she glares at him, “If you’re not going to show up to help him with Eddie’s stuff could you at least call beforehand? That's three times you’ve been a complete no show.”

 

“Look, I -“

 

“Let me finish!” Kate interjects crossly. For a relatively small person she can look pretty scary when she gets pissed off.

 

“If I have to see that look on his face," Kate went on as she tries to keep her emotion under control, "That heart breaking look when he thinks his own brother doesn’t care about him!”

 

"I do care!" Seth says a bit more aggressively than he intended, theres nothing he cares about more in the world than his brother.

 

Kate lets out a heavy sigh and relaxes a little, well she unfolds her arms at least. As much as he hates arguing with her its nice to know that she's as invested in Richie's well being as he is.

 

“Look if you don't want to do it then that's fine,” Kate says a little more kindly, “Daddy said he'd come down and help.”

 

Seth lets out derisive snort; he doesn't need some Bible thumper picking through his dead Uncle’s things.

 

"Sorry," he apologies as Kate frowns at him, "Your dads been real good to us." 

 

Jacob Fuller had helped them out a lot in the months after Eddie’s death; he’d even done the funeral for them. Seth should have stepped up to help more, he knows that. He'll never forget the hysterical phone call from Richie in the early hours of the morning telling him that Uncle Eddie was dead. 

 

“Look I’m sorry ok!" Seth concedes as he throws his hands up, "I get it; worlds shittiest brother standing right here!”

 

"Don't get all defensive," Kate says, "Just do better.”

 

They stand in silence for a moment; Kate still looking pretty disappointed in him. 

 

“How’s he doing anyway?” Seth asks eventually.

 

It had been Richie who had woken up to find Eddie's body cold on the floor of his TV repair shop and it was something Seth knew his younger brother was still struggling with.

 

“Fine," Kate reports, "He misses Eddie though. And you.”

 

“Wow," Seth says with a smirk, "You’re really laying it on thick tonight aren't you Princess.”

 

“You do realise you're making me spend the evening with a woman who refers to me as "That Girl" every time I see her, don't you?” Kate grumbles.

 

Kate holds her tongue a lot when she’s around Vanessa, mainly because she doesn’t want to upset Richie by causing another argument. Seth and Vanessa can argue enough for all of them without her adding anything to the mix.

 

“Look I’m sorry ok!” Seth apologies again, “Its just Vanessa..”

 

“Its not me you should be apologising to!” Kate cuts in just as the kitchen door opens.

 

"What are you two whispering about?"

 

It's Richie, having been demoted from his table setting duties by Vanessa he's been instructed to tell Seth that he's needed in the other room.

 

"Nothing," Seth says quickly as he avoids looking at Kate, "You guys want a drink?"

 

Richie just shrugs and continues his slightly frosty demeanour as he leans back against the counter top. Seth glances at Kate who gives him a very “I told you so” look. Great.

 

"Look I know I've been a bit shit lately," Seth tells Richie, "But I'm trying here. I thought we could all just have a nice evening together."

 

"But Vanessa hates us."

 

Leave it to Richie to bluntly state the obvious.

 

"No she doesn’t,” Seth lies, “She was just caught off guard."

 

“You mean she didn't want us to come?” Kate cuts in accusingly.

 

“Yes she did!” Seth overcompensates as he tries to rectify the situation, “She’s just stressed out, you know how she gets.”

 

Kate and Richie exchange a look of deep scepticism but say no more on the matter. Phew. At least he wasn't  going to be left to deal with Vanessa all by himself.

 

“Are we even dinner party people?” Richie wonders out loud as he looks around at the messy kitchen.

 

“Of course we’re not!” Seth scoffs, he’d much rather be sat on the couch in his underwear chowing down on a Big Kahuna Burger, “Please, just don’t set her off.”

 

“I didn’t even do anything!” Richie says defensively, “It’s not my fault you married an unreasonable megalomaniac!”

 

Before Seth can respond, Vanessa appears in the doorway looking furious. She’s got a carving knife in one hand and some hand written place settings in the other.

 

“Seth!” she hisses, “I asked you for help ten minutes ago! Stop standing around with these people and come and help me!” 

 

"In a minute!" Seth yells back as Vanessa storms back to her table arrangement.

 

“Ok, here’s how we’re gonna play this,” He says, like there about to pull a bank heist or something, “You,” he says as he points to Richie, “No winding her up. And you,” he adds as he turns to Kate, “No rolling your eyes.”

 

“For the last time,” Kate complains loudly, "I didn’t roll my eyes at her! I just blinked!”

 

Seth gives her a “Don’t Bullshit Me” look before he heads out to find out what Vanessa was screaming about.

 

"I hate that woman," Richie mutters as soon as Seth is out the door, "You know she wouldn't let me wouldn't let me touch any of the knives? Like I was going to start stabbing up the other guests or something."

 

"I wish you would let me say something to her" Kate pouts as she takes hold of his hand.

 

"But then she'll just yell at Seth,” Richie pleads with her, “I hate it when they start arguing.”

 

“Ok,” Kate says with a heavy sigh, “I'll be nice.”  

 

“Good,” Richie smiles as he wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close. He’s about to lean down to kiss her when the door bangs open again.

 

 

"Hey lovebirds," Seth yells as he sticks his head through the door, “Stop pawing at each other, the other guests will be here soon.”

 

Kate smiles up at him and kisses him one, two, three times on the lips before she leads him back out into the living room. There’s some weird jazz music playing on the sound system and about half a florists worth of flowers in the middle of the table. Kate and Richie’s card table has been moved further away from the main table and the cutlery is plastic but it does at least have a small table runner to cover up the beer stains left over from Seth and Richie’s poker nights. 

 

“Do you need a hand Vanessa?” Kate asks with as much humility as she can muster.

 

“Not from you, no.” Vanessa replies with a very fake smile as she resumes measuring the distance between the place settings with a ruler.

 

Kate gives up trying to be nice and goes to stand out of the way with Seth and Richie who are bickering back and forth about some old film they both watched.   

Vanessa is still frantically dashing about straightening cushions and trying to remove every single speck of dust from the lampshades before the rest of the people turn up. She won't let any of them sit on the couch in case they crease it so Kate, Richie and Seth end up stood in the corner whilst Vanessa flaps about like a mad woman. Finally the doorbell rings with is a relief to everyone.

 

"Crissy!" Vanessa squawks in a high pitched voice as she embraces her friend and air kisses her, "Mwah, mwah.”

 

Seth, Richie and Kate all exchange glances as Vanessa starts speaking in a weird fake posh voice as she greets her guests and ushers them inside her home. The exceptionally overweight man that follows must be Crissy's husband but Vanessa strides past Kate and Richie as if they weren't even there and drags Seth away for a formal introduction. Kate is trying desperately not to laugh as Vanessa, and her fake accent, begins to lead the guests on a formal tour of her home whilst Seth looks on in confusion. As more people pile in, Kate and Richie find themselves pushed further into a corner at the far end of the room. Vanessa seems keen to avoid introducing them to anyone and is more concerned with rotating Seth around her work colleagues like he was a show pony. Neither of them are particularly bothered by this though.

 

“I wish we were at home,” Richie sighs forlornly as he watches Vanessa let out an increasingly faker laugh with every person she talks to.

 

“Oh come on it might be fun,” Kate says mischievously, “We can take bets on how long it takes her to loose the weird voice.”

 

“I can think of a million other things I’d rather be doing,” Richie replies grumpily.

 

“Oh yeah?” Kate teases, “Hoping to get yourself a little action tonight were you?”

 

“I was hoping you might wear that black lacy thing,” Richie whispers, his eyes bright behind his glasses.

 

“Play your cards right,” she whispers as she runs her hand down his chest and rubs his thigh, “You might get lucky anyway.”

 

He pulls her close to him, he wants to kiss her or to take her home and make love to her. Kate’s big beautiful green eyes are soft and gentle when she looks up at him and he can tell that dinner is the last thing on her mind. 

 

"Shall we all be seated?" Vanessa calls out loudly and everyone clatters about finding their seats at the table, leaving Kate and Richie break apart and make their way over to their lawn chairs. Greg, a huge man who was almost as wide as he was tall, almost knocks Kate off her chair on his way to the bathroom. The table is about half a foot lower than the main table and Kate's chair gives an ominous creak as she scoots closer to Richie. Its not all bad though; they at least have two bottles of wine all to themselves.

 

“Do you think she puts that voice on all day?” Kate asks as Vanessa starts regaling her visitors with some made up story about a famous actor that she was certain she spotted at the market the other day. This draws lots of attention from her work colleagues and leaves Vanessa looking very pleased with her self. 

 

"I don't know," Richie says seriously, "But my therapist says that first sign of mental instability is pretending to be something your not."

 

"Oh Richard," Kate mimics in a perfect rendition of Vanessa's persudo posh voice, "Don't be so ridiculous.”

 

Richie snorts with laughter so hard that the sip of wine he’d just taken comes out of his nose and he starts coughing loudly. Vanessa glares angrily at him as Kate thumps him on the back. The other guests still have yet to notice them so Kate and Richie decide they may as well pour themselves a drink or two just to get the evening rolling.

 

“Time for the starters!” Vanessa trills as she rises from the table like Martha Stewart, “Talk amongst yourselves and I’ll be right back.”

 

“Ohhh,” breaths Phoebe, a stick like woman covered in huge pieces of diamond jewellery, “What are we having?”

 

“Seared scallops with leeks and chilli butter,” Vanessa says proudly as she hurries of to the kitchen.

 

“You’ve got yourself a good one there,” Bob says roguish as he winks at Seth, “Proper little lady.”

 

Seth gives him a very tight lipped smile as he wonders how enthusiastic Bob would be if he found out that after having burnt every trial run of her starter, Vanessa had ordered in from a local restaurant. Vanessa returns a few moments later looking a little flustered, she’d had to wedge the take away boxes well out of sight in the trash, and laden with plates of food. Seth pours himself another drink and ignores the reproachful look he gets from Vanessa. If he’s being forced to pretend that they’re a perfect married couple all evening, he’ll drink as much as he dammed well likes. Everyone oohs and ahhs over the food which seems to make Vanessa even more smug as she sets the lasts of the plates down. Richie and Kate are the last two to be served; it seemed that Vanessa wanted to make sure that the other guests were fully engaged in their food and conversation so as not to draw attention to them.

 

“I didn’t know you two were coming,” Vanessa tells them indifferently as she sets down two plates in front of Richie and Kate, “So this is all I’ve got left.”

 

Richie looks down at the plate as Vanessa walks off back to her seat; its two bits of bread and some questionable looking cheese. Next to him, Kate’s stomach gives a loud rumble. Neither of them had eaten anything all day because Seth had warned them that Vanessa was making enough to feed a small country.

 

“Is this it?” Kate asks as she pokes at the cheese.

 

“I think so,” Richie say’s, “At leat Seth didn't make it, I don’t fancy going back to the hospital.”

 

“Yummy,” Kate says sarcastically as the smell of chilli butter hits her nose, “Maybe she thinks if we starve to death she can fulfil her dream of having Seth all to herself.”

 

Richie glances up to make sure Vanessa’s attention is diverted away from them before he turns back to Kate and leans in towards her.

 

“I bet,” he whispers, “She’s got about five other secret husbands stashed away somewhere. She’s probably got the bodies hidden under the floorboards.”

 

“You think?” Kate asks as she leans into him, “That would seriously not surprise me. She’s got those serial killer eyes.”

 

Richie nods in agreement. The wine and lack of food is getting to them both as they both contemplate the likely hood of Vanessa being a stone cold killer.

 

“When Seth first told me he’d married her,” Richie says quietly, “I hacked into the government records database to see what I could find about her.”

 

“And?” Kate asks, her eyes wide with alcohol and intrigue, “What did you find?”

 

“Nothing,” Richie sighs frustratedly, “Seth yelled at me before I could finish looking for stuff.”

 

“I bet her name isn't even Vanessa!” Kate whispers as they both turn to look at their host who is currently deep in conversation with Crissy about the new designer curtains she brought. Kate drains her wine glass in one go and is already pouring herself another one just as all the guest suddenly roar with laughter. Richie should probably tell her to slow down, but it looks like alcohol is the only way they’re going to get through this evening so he tops up his own glass as well.

 

Up at the top table Seth is already bored to death and getting increasingly irritated about being dragged into conversations that he really doesn't give a shit about. Seth would much rather have been at the opposite end of the table, next to Richie and Kate, but Vanessa had insisted that he sit at the head of the table. He’d been trying to catch Richie’s eye but his brother and Kate keep whispering to each other and then staring at Vanessa in an extremely obvious way. Thankfully his wife was so keen on making a good impression with her boss that she didn't notice that her two least favourite people were constantly looking at her.The other guests are already deep in conversation as they load themselves up on posh looking bread and butter.

 

“Did you put an offer in on that house Greg?” Vanessa asks just as Seth starts to die a little inside. He hates this kind of bullshit chitchat.

 

“Phoebe put her foot down in the end, didn't want to live in house where somebody died,” Greg boomed as he loaded butter onto his bread, “I told her she was being ridiculous but she was convinced the poor woman was still lingering on in the guest bathroom.”

 

“Oh that’s a shame, it was such a nice house,” Vanessa says before she turns to Seth, “It was up on that new build Seth, the one I was telling you about, four bedrooms with an ensuite in the master bedroom.”

 

“Oh,” Seth mutters unenthusiastically, “Great.”

 

“So we’re back to looking,” Greg blathers on, “I’m hoping the next place doesn’t come with a ghost thrown into the mortgage agreement!”

 

Greg guffaws loudly at his own joke as the others hoot with laughter. It wasn’t even a funny Seth thinks as he tops up his wine glass. He doesn’t even like wine that much but Vanessa refused to allow him to drink beer at the table. 

 

“Our Uncle is still in our house,” Richie pipes up suddenly from the end of the table.

 

“He means in an urn,” Vanessa interjects quickly as everyone turns to look at him.

 

“No I don’t,” Richie says as the whole table descends into silence, most of the people didn’t even know that Kate and Richie were there, “Well I mean, he is in an urn, but his spirit is still in the house.”

 

There’s another awkward pause as all the guests exchange glances whilst Richie, completely oblivious to all the weird looks he’s getting, carries on talking.

 

“Kate and I were watching TV the other day,” Richie blunders on, “And the channel changed all by itself to Slaughterhouse Five on the horror channel. Remember Seth? He used to let us watch it when we were kids.”

 

Seth smiles and nods in agreement as Vanessa grips her wine glass so hard it almost shatters. If that was indeed Eddie’s spirt, Seth’s pretty certain he could have chosen a better film to mark his presence with. Mostly because Slaughterhouse Five had terrified Richie when he was a kid, to the point where Seth had had to let him sleep in his bed for two weeks straight. Now that he thinks about it, it’s probably Eddie’s way of reminding them that they are better together then they are apart. Or, he could have just really wanted to watch a shitty horror movie from wherever he was.

 

“… and all the coffee jars are always facing North which was the direction he was facing when he died so that must mean that he’s still in the house,” Richie reasons, “Or part of him is at least.”

 

There’s more awkward glances and someone stifles a laugh which brings Seth’s Pissed Off level up to about a solid eight; Seth might tease the shit out of Richie but that doesn't mean that he’s just going to allow these jerks to make fun of him.

 

“I’m sorry,” Greg asks before Seth can interject, his piggy eyes narrowed in confusion, “And you are?”

 

“That’s Richard, Seth’s brother,” Vanessa cuts in quickly and then adds in a rather hushed tone, “The one I told you about.”

 

“Oh! I apologise, I was unaware,” Greg says, his eyes going wide with realisation, before he turns back to Richie and says in a loud, slow voice, “That’s very nice young man. I’m sure your Uncle is very happy living with you still.”

 

Richie turns to look at Kate in confusion at being spoken to like he’s a dimwit but she’s too busy giving Greg a look of pure loathing. She’s eaten all her cheese and is now onto her second glass of wine; her eyes droop slightly as she reaches for the wine bottle again. 

 

“Uhm thanks,” Richie mutters, “But our Uncle - “

 

“Shall we have some more drinks? Bob, was it the red you wanted?” Vanessa practically shouts before Richie can go any further, “Seth; come and help me with the glasses.”

 

Seth wasn't even aware that they owned wine glasses; he either drinks out of red plastic cup or straight out of the bottle like a normal person. He trails after Vanessa as she clears the plates and marches into the kitchen, leaving everyone to silently judge on a scale of one to ten how crazy they think his brother is. 

 

“What’s with that Greg guy talking to Richie like that?” Seth asks Vanessa as soon as they’re out of earshot from the other guests, “Did you tell all your little buddies that Richie was sick?”

 

"I might have mentioned it,” Vanessa replies offhandedly as she stuffs a load of wine glasses into Seth’s hands.

 

“Oh for god sake Vanessa!” Seth snaps as he tries to juggle all the glasses he’s holding, “That was six years ago! He’s fine now!”

 

“But how do you know he’s fine? Hmm?” Vanessa asks him as she starts pulling wine bottles out of the fridge, “For all you know he could out there killing people or doing god knows what! I told you you should have left him in that hospital for longer.”

 

“Well maybe if you actually let me spend some time with him,” Seth shouts as he puts down the glasses and snatches up the bottle of Bourbon Richie and Kate had brought, “I’d be able to know if he was ok!”

 

Without giving Vanessa a chance to respond he storms out of the kitchen and leans against the wall in the hallway. The Bourbon bottle is already at his lips and he takes a long gulp. It feel like liquid relief as soon as the alcohol hits the back of his throat; finally he can breath. The sounds of the guests seems even more magnified out here as he tunes into the horrible laughter and self serving conversations. A few more mouthfuls of Bourbon seem to do the trick in easing the pressure somewhat but Seth really doesn't know how much longer he can keep this up for. He can’t live a fake life in the suburbs with Vanessa but he also can’t stand the idea of admitting to everyone he had been wrong to marry her. Richie would probably let him move back into Eddie’s but he’s got Kate now and Seth doesn't think he could stomach the rejection. A little voice inside his head tells him he would deserve it, after the way he’d treated his brother these last few months, and how he lets his wife treat Richie. Richie’s already had to live through their dad constantly telling him he was a useless piece of shit; he doesn't need to hear it all over again from Vanessa as well. He tries to drown the voice out by taking another large mouthful of booze. 

 

“Why are you drinking alone in the hallway?”

 

Seth almost chokes on his drink; its Richie, on his way to the bathroom.

 

“I’m not!” Seth splutters as he wipes the dribbles off his chin.

 

“Yes you are,” Richie snaps as he snatches the bottle out of Seth’s hand, “I’m not an idiot!” 

 

Even behind those thick rimmed glasses his eyes are boring into Seth; like he can see right through him. Richie's never been a big drinker, he'll have a few beers or a whiskey or two but he doesn't go at it like Seth. He can count on one hand the amount of times Richie’s been wasted, all of which were highly amusing, and he’ll always stop when he feels that he’s had enough. Seth had asked him about it once and Richie had simply turned to him and said "I don't want to be like dad.” Aware that Richie is still waiting for an answer Seth wracks his brains for some sort of plausible reason why he would sneaking sips of booze out in a hallway.

 

“It was just a shot Richie,” He tells his brother, “I’m not out here draining the whole bottle.”

 

Richie hesitates, like he’s about to say something, when Bob comes around the corner and almost crashes into him. 

 

“Oh,” he says as he looks between the pair of them, “Sorry. Everything ok?”

 

He’s eyeing the bottle in Richie’s hand in a mildly alarmed sort of way, which makes Seth wonder just exactly what Vanessa told him.  

 

“We’re fine thank you,” Seth tells him as he yanks the Bourbon out of Richie’s hand, turns on his heel and heads back into the living room. He feels bad for leaving Richie to deal with Bob but he just can’t deal with this type of conversation right now. Once he's done the rounds and poured everyone another glass he heads down to the far end of the table where Kate is already polishing off her second glass of wine.

 

“Do I have anything to be concerned about here?” He asks as he sits down in Richie's vacated lawn chair, “What’s with Richie saying Eddie is still in the house?”

 

“No, of course not,” Kate huffs, “He didn't mean he's sees Eddie around the house or anything. Just that he can still feel his presences there, you know, like in a nice way.”

 

 

“Yeah," Seth says carefully, "but there’s a fine line between Richie believing that Eddie spirit is still hanging around to him thinking he’s actually there in the house with him!”

 

“Trust me, he’s fine,” she assured him as she pulls the bottle of Bourbon out of his hand and pours herself another drink, “You know I wouldn't let him get like that again.”

 

He won't ever admit it to Richie but being separated from his brother for so long is causing Seth major anxiety. What if something happened? Eddie’s death was already putting a huge strain on Richie and Seth didn't like feeling like he was so far away if he was needed. Richie’s had a few wobbles in the past but Seth had been living with him then and was able to spot the signs right away before anything got too bad. 

 

“Yeah I know you wouldn’t,” Seth concurs before he gestures to the drink in her hand, “Why are you drinking so much anyway?”

 

Kate has already drank half her measure of Bourbon in the time he’s been sitting here talking to her. Some of her eyeliner is smudged and her skin is taking on the flushed tones of the almost drunk.

 

“I need a drink to be able to cope with your wife.”

 

“Fine,” Seth says but he takes the bottle away from her, “Just tell me if Richie needs help or anything. I don't want him thinking Eddie is going to pop up at Family Dinner any time soon."

 

“Don’t worry Seth," a voice say's behind him, "I haven't gone crazy again.”

 

Seth almost leaps out of his skin as Richie glares down at him. He hadn't heard Richie come up behind him; that kid was like a fucking ninja. 

 

“I have a right to be concerned Richard!”

 

“So do I!” Richie snaps as he pulls the bottle out of Seth’s hand again.

 

“It’s not the same thing!” Seth argues as Richie frowns at him.

 

“I believe your wife is calling you,” Richie says moodily.

 

“Fine,” Seth retorts as he pulls himself up out of the lawn chair, “Sulk all you want but we are talking about this later.”

 

Once he’s gone Richie slumps back down into his lawn chair. Kate leans her head onto his shoulder and he manages to calm down little.

 

“I’m not being crazy Kate,” he says miserably, “I know Eddie’s dead but its just nice to know that a little part of him might still be around.”

 

“Its ok, I get it. You know how I am about my Mom.” Kate says gently as she strokes his hand, “I’ll talk to Seth, make him see sense.”

 

Richie kisses the top of her head and looks over at Seth; he doesn't like seeing how unhappy his brother looks. Vanessa strides past them holding a huge pan of meat and glares at them so the reluctantly break apart.

 

Seth throws himself back into his chair just as Vanessa is beginning to dish up the main course. Its some weird steak thing that she only picked because it required minimal cooking. He successfully managed to tune out most of the bullshit the others were talking about, that is until Bob decides to involve him in the conversation.

 

“So, Seth,”Bob asks as he chews noisily on his steak, “Vanessa tells me you’re in management.”

 

Seth sighs inwardly as he glares over at Vanessa who is deliberately avoiding looking at him. She always does stuff like this, trying to make out like he’s some hot shot businessman when the reality couldn't be further from the truth. 

 

“Actually I own a bar, El Ray’s just of the corner of Gimble Street.” Seth replies smugly as Vanessa scowls at him, “Richie and I brought it together a few years ago.”

 

“But it’s very classy,” Vanessa cuts in, “You get lots of celebs in don’t you Seth.”

 

Seth snorts; the closest El Ray’s has ever got to a celebrity was when a B list actors from an old 80’s TV show came in asking for directions. She keeps pressuring him to turn  the bar into some shitty wine bar for a more “upmarket clientele”. Seth likes his dive bar the way it is thank you very much. He likes the people, he likes that the floor is sticky and one leg of the pool table is wonky. It has character and heart which is more than can be said for most places these days. El Ray’s was something that he and Richie built together, Seth does all the front of house stuff and Richie does all the boring business bits. 

 

“Oh, well I’m sure thats very interesting,” Greg says, although he doesn't sound very interested at all. Soon enough they’re back to discussing the teachers at Pheobe’s brats school (terrible) which then leads them onto the state of the school system in general (horrendous) and Seth feels himself die a little more inside.

 

Down at the other end of the table Kate is drunk. She knows she's drunk because every time Richie asks her if she's ok, her vision blurs and she finds everything hilarious. Vanessa didn't bring them anymore food so Richie tried to feed her a bit of his leftover bread but her jaw doesn't seem to be attached to the rest of her face. In the end she just has bits of soggy bread on her chin and the increasing feeling that she might throw up. Maybe if she just rests her head on the table for a little bit.

 

“Kate?” Richie asks as he shakes her gently by shoulder.

 

“Sleepy,” Kate mumbles as Richie pulls her back up into a sitting position. When he lets her go, Kate merely flops forward and almost hits her head on the table but Richie just manages to grab hold of her in time.

 

“Woooo,” Kate cackles loudly as she tries to put her arms around Richie’s neck and almost knocks his glasses off. 

 

“Do you want some water?” Richie asks kindly as he straightens up his glasses.

 

This just causes Kate to laugh louder but she does let him go, or rather her arms just give out and she slumps forward onto his chest. Richie brushes the bread off her chin and tries to prop her up back up in her chair. It seems to work, all though Kate can’t seem to keep her head up straight.

 

“I’m going to get you some water,” Richie tells her.

Kate just grins inanely at him as before her eyes roll shut and she drops back into her chair. Richie glances up worriedly at Vanessa but she’s still engrossed in her other guests to notice that kate has passed out in her chair. He hurries off to the kitchen to get Kate some water and more bread before anybody can notice. He’s halfway through pouring some water into a glass, when Sharon, a woman with giant hair, corners him in the kitchen.

 

“Aww you must be Richard; Seth’s brother,” she says in a vaguely patronising sort of way, “How are you feeling dear?”

 

“Umm,” Richie replies in confusion, “Fine I think.”

 

She smiles at him the way you would do if you were talking to a small child or someone who has limited capabilities of understanding.

 

“Thats good,” she says as she pats him on the arm, “These things take time.”

 

“Err,” he mumbles, “Thanks?”

 

Sharon smiles widely at him before she returns to her seat and leaves Richie standing in confusion in the kitchen. These friends of Vanessa’s really were very strange. He doesn't ponder on the weird conversation too much as he needs to get back to Kate; Vanessa would be livid if she found her passed out in the middle of her party. In the end most of the water goes down Kate’s dress instead of in her mouth and Richie thinks its probably for the best if he just lets her sleep it off. They’ll probably be banned for life if Kate throws up everywhere. 

 

“Richie?” Its Seth, who has come to check on him after there earlier argument, “Why are you covered in bits of bread?”

 

“Oh,” Richie says sarcastically as Seth drags a spare chair over, “So you’ve come down to visit the lesser mortals have you?”

 

“Oh don’t be such a baby,” Seth grumbles as Richie snarks at him to shut up under his breath.

 

“What the hell happened to her?” Seth asks as he points towards Kate, who is currently passed out in her seat, “Please don’t tell me this is Vegas part two.”

 

Kate’s head lolls on Richie’s shoulder and she begins to snore.

 

“I think she had too much wine,” Richie mutters as he brushes Kate’s hair of her face and tries to get her to close her mouth.

 

“Ok,” Seth says with a laugh, “Definitely Vegas Part Two.”

 

“Lay off her Seth,”Richie snaps, “You’re always teasing her about that!” 

 

“That’s because it was the funniest shit I have ever seen,” Seth chuckles, “Almost as funny as the look on your face when she threw up all over you.”

 

Richie scowls at him but Seth isn’t finished teasing him just yet.

 

“But not quite as funny as that second night,” Seth goes on gleefully, “When after only three whiskeys and a couple of hits of weed you managed to get yourself thrown out on your ass from that casino.”

 

“At least I didn't almost sleep with a man!” Richie retorts angrily.

 

“Hey!” Seth hisses as he quickly looks around to make sure nobody heard them, “You promised you wouldn't bring that up again!” 

 

“Well stop making fun of me!” Richie snaps back.

 

“Its not my fault you and Little Miss Drinks-A-Lot over there,” Seth says as he points over at an unconscious Kate, “Are a pair of lightweights.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“No, you shut up!”

 

“I said it first!”

 

They bicker back and forth for a while until eventually they both get bored. Dale is regaling the rest of the guests with some supposedly hilarious story about when he broke a copy machine. The shrill laughter grates on Seth’s ears and even manages to momentarily stir Kate from her drunken stupor. Its only for a brief second though and soon enough her eyes slide shut again and she begins to snore again.

 

“Who even are all these people?” Richie asks him as Greg thunders past on his way to the toilet.

 

“Fucked if I know,” Seth answers moodily. If he was going to invite anybody round his apartment it wouldn't be these bunch of boring assholes thats for sure.

 

“Why do people keep coming up to me asking if I'm ok?” Richie asks him suspiciously, “That lady with the Big Bird hair cornered me in the kitchen a minute ago.”

 

Seth shifts guiltily in his seat; he could lie but then he runs the risk of Richie finding out later on and being even more upset with him.

 

“Don’t get mad,” Seth say’s as he attempts to placate Richie, who is already starting to look annoyed, “But Vanessa might have mentioned to them about the time when you weren't very well.”

 

They never really talk about the two years that Richie spent in the psychiatric hospital; Seth just refers to it as Richie being sick or ill, like he had to spend two years locked up a over a cold. Guilt is another reason why Seth still struggles to talk about it. Firstly because he should have done something sooner, Eddie had realised that something was wrong long before Seth was ready to admit it to himself. In the end it had been taken out of his hands; a group of police officers and doctors had showed up at his house in the middle of the night with a court order to section Richie without any prior warning. The fact that they just dragged him away without Seth being able to do anything still haunts him. As predicted, Richie doesn't take the news that everyone in the room knows he spent time in a mental hospital very well.

 

“I’m fine Seth!” Richie snaps, “I could have told you that if you bothered to ask.”

 

“Look I'm sorry ok!” Seth apologises, Richie still gets self conscious about people thinking he's some crazy lunatic. “I didn't know she was going to tell all these weirdos.”

 

They sit in a stoney silence for a while, the only noise being Kate’s drunken snoring. Its Richie who gives in first, his inability to keep quiet outweighing his annoyance at his brother.

 

“You know, we were going to have a Predator marathon tonight, Kate’s never seen it,” Richie mutters as he covers up an unconscious Kate up with his jacket, “You could have come over to watch that with us instead.”

 

“Really?” Seth asks, his interest perked, “Even AVP?”

 

“That’s what I meant by marathon Seth,” Richie snarks as he pushes his glasses up his nose, “You can’t just watch one.

 

Seth can’t help but smile wildly. This is what he has been missing; talking shit and spending time with his brother. Before Richie can stop him, Seth lunges forward and wraps Richie up in a tight hug.

 

“What are you doing?” Richie demands as he finds himself trapped between Seth’s arms.

 

“I’m being nice!” Seth replies as he tightens his grip; Richie is a slippery son of a bitch and has been known to wriggle free from his hugs before.

 

“No, you’re being creepy,” Richie says as he remains stiff as a rock in Seth’s arms, “I like you better when you’re being your usual overbearing self.”

 

“Ahhh come on, don’t be a baby!” Seth says as he squeezes Richie harder, “You know you want a hug from your big brother!”

 

“You’re ridiculous,” Richie grumbles but he does relent in the end and allow Seth to hug him properly.

 

“See? That wasn’t so bad now was it?” Seth says as he finally release Richie and messes up his brothers hair, “Look, why don't I…”

 

He was about to suggest that he could come over tomorrow night and they could order in from Big Kahuna Burger and do a whole Arnold Schwarzenegger marathon with Kate when Vanessa stomps over to them. 

 

“Seth, I’ve been looking for you for the past ten minutes!” she snaps, “I’m serving the palette cleanser in a minute so you need to get back to your signed seat!”

 

Richie had already started to pull away from him before Vanessa had even finished speaking, their previous brotherly bonding moment in tatters, and he looks utterly miserable as Seth is marched away by Vanessa. Anger is starting to swell up inside Seth; more at himself than Vanessa. He shouldn't be allowing this to happen but he just can’t seem to bring himself to stand up to his wife. Its probably not going to end well, he thinks as he refills his glass, and tries to avoid being drawn into a conversation with Greg about lawn maintenance. He doesn't  even have a fucking lawn. 

 

Down at the other end of the table Richie is still trying to rouse Kate from her wine induced nap. Lucky he’s had a lot of practice with Seth and he’s managed to get her to open her eyes at least. 

 

“Rishie?” Kate slurs as if she’s only just realised he’s there as she brings her hand up to his face, “You’re so fucking hot.”

 

“Thank you,” Richie tells her helps her sit up, “Babe I think we should probably go home.”

 

“So we can fuck?” Kate whispers as she tries to push her hand into his groin; she's drunk so she doesn't hit anything important but Richie feels the back of his ears go red anyway. Kate rarely swears, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn't a little bit turned on right now, but she’s also wasted and Richie would rather just take her home and put her to bed. Its not like anybody is going to miss them anyway.

 

“Maybe in the morning,” he tells her at which point Kate just lets out a loud drunken laugh before her eyes droop shut and she slumps back down on the table and starts to snore again. She looked a little green before she passed out and Richie doesn't want to risk her puking all over the table by trying to wake her up again. The best he can do is to try and shield her from view so Vanessa doesn't kick off again. He angles her chair slightly so that if anyone did bother to look over at them, they would just see the top of Kate’s supposedly conscious head. Once he’s got her settled Richie picks forlornly at the label on the wine bottle. This whole evening is just making him miserable; he didn't even want to come in the first place but it was the only way he would have gotten to see Seth. Richie is used to being ignored by everyone so he sits in silence and listens to the other guests talk as he strokes Kate’s hand.

 

“All this global warming stuff they keep banging on about,” Dale is saying as he tops up his wine glass, “Load of old rubbish if you ask me. As if there’s a giant hole in the atmosphere. Its just a ploy by all these hippy environmentalists to get us sucked into there anti hunting bans, and clean water nonsense.”

 

“Well that’s just stupid,” Richie says loudly as he frowns in annoyance.

 

Everyone turns to look at him.

 

“Shut him up!” Vanessa hisses at Seth.

 

Ninety percent of what Richie talks about usually goes straight over Seth’s head, all though Seth’s lack of interest never seems to deter him from speaking. Its like he just bottles it all up and then just unleashes it all on you when you’re not expecting it. Seth tries but he’s just not interested in space stations or quantum mechanics or whatever the hell else Richie likes to read about. Nobody else here is used to Richie’s personal brand of weirdness and Seth is secretly looking forward to the floor show that is about happen, no matter how much Vanessa glares at him.

 

“I’m sorry?” Dale says incredulously as he turns towards Richie, “What did you say to me?”

 

“I said you were stupid,” Richie clarifies as the rest of the guests look scandalised, “Of course there’s a giant hole in the atmosphere. Why do you think the polar bears are dying? Or all the coral on the Great Barrier Reef is being bleached due to the change in water temperature?”

 

“Excuse me young man,” Dale say’s patronisingly as he smiles at Richie, “But I think I know quite a bit more about this then you do.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Richie says flatly, “But what you don't know could probably fill a warehouse.”

 

Seth almost chokes on his own laughter as everyone else, including an irate Vanessa, gasps in horror. Fuck it, he thinks; if Richie wants to talk about polar bears or bits of coral then let him. He’s not doing any harm. Dale, who had not taken kindly to being called stupid, was a little less forgiving and his face had turned a weird colour as the anger defended upon him.

 

“I beg your pardon!” he roars just as his wife grabs his arm.

 

“Shh Dale,” Crissy hisses at him, “He’s not been well, leave him alone.”

 

“I’m not crazy!” Richie shouts and only succeeds in making himself look even more like a crazy person.

 

“You tell em baby,” Kate chips in as she salutes him with her wine glass. It falls to the floor moments later as she passes back out again.

 

“Don’t you people read? They published an article in 20414 that said that the industrial activities of our modern civilisation depends upon has raised atmospheric carbon dioxide levels from 280 parts per million to 400 parts per million in the last 150 years,” Richie tells them, clearly annoyed that nobody has read the same egghead stuff he has, “It also concluded there's a better than 95 percent probability that human-produced greenhouse gases such as carbon dioxide, methane and nitrous oxide have caused much of the observed increase in Earth's temperatures over the past 50 years.”

 

“Oh come on,” Bob snorts, “That’s just something those boffin scientists made up.”

 

“No it isn’t,” Richie argues from way down the end of the table, “It’s scientific fact.”

 

“ _Make.Him.Stop_ ,” Vanessa says in a deadly whisper as she kicks Seth hard under the table. He’s not sure exactly what she wants him to do, besides gag Richie and throw him out the window, but before he can get a word out Richie starts talking again.

 

“Multiple studies carried out by peer-reviewed scientists show that 97 percent or more of climate scientists agree that climate-warming trends over the past century are due to human activities,” Richie explains and then without even taking a breath he continues, “In addition, most of the leading scientific organisations worldwide have issued public statements endorsing this position.”

 

“Well, what about,” Dale attempts but Richie just talks over him. 

 

“The absolute consensus is that human action is leading to an increase in average temperature which causes all our extreme weather. Why do you think we had all those hurricanes last year? I know you may try to argue with that,” he says to Dale, “But quite frankly I think you’re an idiot.”

 

There’s a ringing silence at the end as Richie finally shuts up and everybody tries to get a handle on what they just witnessed. 

 

“Well that’s very…you must be very clever,” Dale says through gritted teeth before he turns and hisses at his wife, “I thought you said he was medicated?”

 

“Vanessa said he was,” his wife hisses back, “Just leave him be, he’s not doing any harm.”

 

Dale just grumbles and then everyone just simply carries on talking, like the last fifteen minutes didn't happen. They all move their chairs slightly away from Richie and Kate so as not to encourage any more intellectual debates. Vanessa starts harping on about serving the desert and Seth starts to think that this nightmare evening might be coming to a close. A few of the wives start to help Vanessa clear the dinner plates and do a bit of tidying up before they can get to their last course. Seth drains his wine glass and tries not to think too much about how much he hates his life and all the fucking irritating people at this table. How Vanessa can stand to be around them for a more than a minute is beyond him.  

 

Its at this point that Kate staggers past Seth on her way to the bathroom, bumping into the doorframe as she goes. He looks to his brother for help but now that Vanessa is out of the room, Richie has snuck up to the main table is now ranting about polar bears to an annoyed looking Dale. Seth should probably get her another glass of water but Drunk Kate is hilarious. Last year, the three of them had spent a memorable weekend in Vegas where Kate had overdone it on the Whiskey Sours before they had even left the hotel and proceed to drunkenly argue with Seth for over an hour about potato chips, puked twice all over Richie and fallen asleep in the bathtub. Kate is back soon enough and she wanders over to where Phoebe and Sharon are sorting out some desert plates. They don't look all that thrilled to see her, mainly because she keeps hiccuping and calling one of them “Shazzer”, but at least she’s out of the way of Vanessa. She starts rambling away to them just as Seth starts to pour himself another glass of wine. 

 

“… I told im it woodn fit, *hic*,  he’s so big,” Kate slurs as she sways haphazardly from side to side, “But Rishie, *hic* said idda be, *hic*, all right…”

  

Seth chokes on his drink as he realises what Kate is referring to. Phoebe eyes have gone wide as saucers as Kate drunkenly describes just exactly what she and Richie got up to this morning. He’d also learnt far too much about his brothers sex life on that particular trip; Kate’s brain to mouth filter seemed to detach after she’d had a few drinks. She had been completely mortified the next day, as well as being horrifically hung over, and Seth still found it hilarious to see just how red he could make her go when he teased her about it.

 

“…. I wanned him, *hic*, to fuck me so bad, *hic*, he jus rolled me…”

 

“Ok, thats enough out of you,” Seth says loudly as he tries to bundle her back towards Richie, “Come on, lets go find you a seat.”

 

Kate doesn't seem to want to leave her captive audience and somehow, even in her intoxicated state, manages to wriggle free from Seth. Her hair is plastered to one side of her face and there’s a smudge of lip gloss on her chin.

 

“Don you tell,*hic*, me whatta do Sesh,” she hiccups as she wobbles around in front of him.

 

“Come on Princess,” Seth says as he tries not laugh, he’s so taking the piss out of her tomorrow, “How about we go find Richie?”

 

Kate considers this for a moment, her drunken brain finally catching onto the fact that Seth mentioned Richie.

 

“Rishie?” She say’s eventually, 

 

“Bingo,” Seth says exasperatedly, “Come on, I’ll take you to him.”

 

Kate nods like the whole thing was her idea and manages to chuck half her drink onto the floor at the same time. She appeared to have found the bourbon again and now theres a big brown stain on Vanessa’s pristine white carpet.

 

“Your wife’s, *hic*, a cow,” she mutters as she tries a drink out of her empty glass and then proceeds to throw it on the floor. 

 

“Dually noted,” Seth says as he tries to steer her towards Richie without Vanessa noticing. 

 

Kate mumbles something incoherently as she tries to make her legs move in the right direction. Thankfully she appears to have some sort of sixth sense when it comes to her boyfriend and she’s already on the move, banging into chairs as she goes, before Seth can help her. Richie is still aggressively arguing with Dale, he’s now moved on from polar bears to some almost extinct weird whale thing that Seth vaguely remembers being talked to about. Dale keeps trying to interject but all of his counter arguments are being quickly shut down by Richie. Seth should have told Dale not to bother because he knows from experience that Richie can out think and out talk any one when he gets like this. Its easier to just let him talk himself out and nod in the right places and chip in the occasional agreement just to placate him. Thankfully the whale conversation is cut short as Kate does a weird kind of twirl and instead of sitting in the seat Seth offered her, falls straight into Richie’s lap. Dale looks distinctly unimpressed as Kate accidentally kicks him in the shin on her way down, although her presence does finally manage to stop Richie talking.

 

“Kate?” He asks as she laughs loudly, wraps her arm around his neck and kisses him sloppily on the cheek.

 

“I found her entertaining Dale’s wife about what the two of you got up to this morning,” Seth tells him as Richie’s face goes bright red. 

 

“I’d rather if she didn't speak to my wife,” Dale says snootily as his eyes linger over Kate’s drunken state, “If its all the same to you.” 

 

“Shudup Dave,” Kate slurs as she slumps forward onto Richie’s chest and starts fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.

 

“Its Dale actually,” Dale replies stiffly as Kate bursts into loud drunken laugher again.

 

“Dale?” she giggles as she tries to focus on his face, “Like the chipmunk?”

 

Seth sits down in the seat he pulled out for Kate and checks the time on his watch. Its almost eleven and time these bunch of pricks went home.

 

“I suppose you’ll be happy once you get the house sold,” Dale asks as he ignores Kate, who is mumbling the tune to Chip’N’Dale to herself, and turns to Seth. Clearly he thinks that if he just ignores the crazy brother and his drunk girlfriend that they'll just go away.

 

“What house?” Seth asks, he’d really prefer it if Dale just pissed off and left the three of them alone.

 

“Your Uncles house,” Dale clarifies, “Vanessa said that you were selling up so you could use the money as a business investment.”

 

Richie’s head jerks up from where he had been trying to stop Kate’s body from sliding onto the floor as she passed out in his lap.

 

“You’re selling Uncle Eddies house?” he asks as all the colour drains from his face. 

 

Oh fucking hell.

 

“No,” Seth tells him firmly as he tries to get a handle on the situation, “No, thats’ not what I'm doing.”

 

Richie isn't listening to him though and Seth can already see his brothers mind going into panic mode.  

 

“When were you going to tell me Seth?” he frets “When the moving van rolled up outside the front door?!”

 

“Of course not!”

 

“That’s Eddie’s house!” Richie yells, “He’s barely been gone five minutes and you just want to get rid of it!”

 

“Richie,” Seth says gently, “Calm down.”

 

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Richie shouts, “Stop talking to me like I’m a child!”

 

“Well,” Dale buts in, “I think its a sensible decision to sell up. There’s a lot of money to be made on the property market, no sense in holding onto something just because of a sentimental attachment.”

 

“Oh fuck off Dale,” Seth snaps, “Nobody asked you!”

 

Dale’s eyes go wide with shock at being sworn at but he offers no further opinion and merely watches the pair of them argue. Neither of them realised how loudly they’d been talking and its only when Richie loudly accuses Seth of being an inconsiderate asshole, that they notice that all the other guests are all staring at them. 

 

“Richard, shut up!” Vanessa scolds from where she had been discussing the benefits of hiring an interior designer with Crissy, “You’re spoiling everything!”

 

“But,” Richie starts but Vanessa cut him off again; her expression livid.

 

“I said, shut up!”

 

“Quite right too,” Greg says, “Thats very rude of you young man! Spoiling Vanessa’s party and your girlfriend acting like a drunken harlot, such bad manners.”

 

Richie flushes scarlet as everyone murmurs in agreement and stares at him disapprovingly. Seth has finally had enough.

 

“FOR THE LAST TIME I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT!” he roars at Vanessa. He doesn't give a shit what all these people think of him but he's sick and tired of hearing Vanessa talk to Richie like he was a piece of shit from underneath her shoe.

 

“I’LL TALK TO HIM HOWEVER I WANT! YOU SAID YOU WOULD STOP HIM DOING THIS,” Vanessa shouts back, completely oblivious to the fact that all her guests were now staring at her in a hushed silence, “THAT HE WOULDN’T RUIN IT LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES BY SAYING ALL THIS WEIRD CRAP!”

 

“I think we should go,” Richie says quietly as he tries to pull an unconscious Kate to her feet and stares awkwardly at the floor, “It probably wasn't a good idea us coming here.”

 

This was the last thing that Seth had wanted but he can see that Richie is getting upset and wound up by everyone picking on him and treating him like something out of a freak show.  

 

“No, wait!” he says desperately as Richie starts trying to pick Kate up, “You haven't even had desert yet.”

 

“Look, you obviously don't want me here or to spend any time with me,” Richie says, who is at this point almost close to tears, “So I think it would just best if we just left.”

 

“Yes,” Vanessa snaps as she heads off to get the cake she made for desert from the kitchen, “I think that would be best.”

 

“Richie don’t listen to her, I want you to stay,” Seth tells him as he pushes Richie back into his seat, “Please buddy, just have a piece of cake and then I’ll take you and Kate home myself.”

 

Richie nods mutely and holds Kate a little tighter to his chest; she's got her arms wrapped around his neck but is still completely oblivious to the commotion going on around her. Vanessa returns a moment later with a towering monstrosity of cream cheese frosting and she doesn't look happy to see Richie and Kate still sitting at the table. Sharon attempts to move past the earlier awkwardness by going overboard on her enthusiasm for Vanessa’s cake.

 

“Such splendid decoration, look Bob, isn't it fabulous?” she exclaims loudly as she nudges her husband, “We’ll have to get you on board for our next bake sale Vanessa!”

 

“Very nice Vanessa,” Bob says as he eyes the cake greedily, “What flavour is it?”

 

“It’s carrot cake,” Vanessa says smugly, “Seth’s favourite.”

 

She’s almost cut the first slice when Richie dares to speak again, he just cant seem to help himself tonight.

 

“No its not,” he mutters, more to himself than anyone else but Vanessa seems to have him on her radar tonight and she glares angrily at him.

 

“Yes it is,” she barks as she slams the cake down on the table and scatters crumbs all over Phoebe’s dress, “Look, even you must be able to see there’s bits of carrot in it!”

 

“No, I mean carrot cake isn't Seth’s favourite,” Richie continues, oblivious to Seth’s frantic hand waving behind Vanessa’s back, “It’s coffee cake. Why do you think Eddie made it at Christmas every year?

 

Vanessa makes a face like she sucked a lemon, her eyes almost bulging out of her head as she turns to Seth.

 

“Is this true?” she asks him in disbelief, like Richie’s just told her that Seth likes to fuck feet or something.

 

“It’s a fucking cake!” Seth exclaims as he cant even believe he's having this conversation. Its like they've gone into the twilight zone or something.

 

“I was only saying,” Richie tries to explain but Vanessa is having none of it.

 

“No you weren’t just saying!” she snaps as she cuts Richie off again, “You were sticking your nose in as usual and trying to make me look stupid!”

 

“Look,” Seth says desperately as he tries to take control of the situation, “Why don’t we all just calm down and have some cake?”

 

“That freak,” Vanessa says as she points the cake cutter dangerously at Seth, “Isn't having any of my cake!”  

 

The evening might still have been salvageable if only it hadn’t been for Kate. She had remained unconscious throughout the whole house argument and the shouting match that followed but Vanessa’s constant insults to Richie seemed to have spurred her back to consciousness. Everybody else is too busy pretending like they didn't just witness a row over a cake so they don’t notice Kate slip from Richie’s grasp, stagger to her feet and wobble over to Vanessa.

 

“Why don’t you take that cake,” she slurs as she pokes Vanessa hard in the chest, “And shove it up your ass!”

 

There’s a sharp intake of breath as everyone’s eyes swivel between Vanessa, who is seething with rage, and Kate who was already downing another drink. 

 

“YOU LITTLE BITCH!” Vanessa screams, her posh accent long forgotten, “Don’t you dare speak to me like that! Seth tell her, tell her she cant speak to me like that!”

 

Seth opens and closes his mouth like a goldfish; words seemed to have eluded him and when he turns to Richie, his brother looks as equally as shocked as he does. Kate is normally so mild mannered.

 

“Nobody cares about your shitty cake Vanessa,” Kate chortled as she smacks the cake filled plate out of Vanessa’s hand and sends it crashing to the floor. A white blanket of frosting covers almost every surface, including Vanessa’s shoes, Phoebe’s dress and most of Greg’s trousers.

 

“MY CAKE!” Vanessa wails loudly, “MY FUCKING CAKE!”

 

“Maybe we should leave,” Dale mumbles as he starts to pull his wife up from the table, “Get your coat Crissy!”

 

“SIT DOWN!” Vanessa bellows, “THIS IS MY DINNER PARTY AND I’M NOT HAVING IT RUINED BY THESE TWO FREAKS!”

 

“Vanessa, honey,” Seth interjects as he tries to pull his wife away from Kate, “You need to calm down.”

 

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Vanessa snarls as she shoves Seth away from her so hard he staggers backwards and lands on the couch, “It’s all that bitches fault!”

 

“And they call me the crazy one,” Richie mutters but not quiet enough for Vanessa not to hear him. In one swift movement she grabs hold of the table and flips it over, sending food, plates and glasses all crashing to the floor. Richie only just manages to move out of the way before the huge heavy table lands on his foot. Nobody moves an inch as Vanessa lets out a howl of rage. 

 

“NO WONDER EDDIE DIED! HAVING TO LIVE WITH THAT NUTJOB DAY IN DAY OUT,” Vanessa screams as she jabs her finger in Richie’s direction, “THAT’S WHAT DROVE HIM TO HAVE THAT STROKE. RICHIE KILLED HIM AND YOU’RE ALL JUST TO DUMB TO SEE IT!”

 

There’s an awful silence which is broken by Kate who draws back her small fist and punches Vanessa straight in the face. Its not a little girly punch either, it’s a closed fist, shoulders back “I will break your fucking face” kind of punch and it sends Vanessa reeling backwards. The other guests scatter into the wind and hastily make there exit; coats and bags thrown on as they make for the door leaving Kate and Vanessa circling each other like lionesses. Seth is at a complete loss at what to do and Richie is still trapped behind the upturned table to be of any use.

 

“YOU FUCKING EVIL COW!” Kate screams. The alcohol seems to be wearing off somewhat as she rips off her shoe and throws it at Vanessa, hitting her squarely in the shoulder. Vanessa lets out a bellow like an angry rhino and hurls a plate straight at Kate’s head, who thankfully manages to duck. This doesn’t deter Vanessa as she snatches up a wine bottle and throws that along with another plate and a handful of glasses in Kate and Richie’s direction. The sound of smashing glass and Richie’s yell as one smacks him in the forehead rouses Seth and he grabs hold of Vanessa’s throwing arm. 

 

“STOP IT!” he yells but she pulls free and use her other hand to slap him straight across the face.

 

“I told you this would happen!” Vanessa screams just as Richie adds to the commotion and starts yelling at her for hitting Seth, “He always spoils everything!”

 

Kate pulls off her other shoe and throws it Vanessa, maybe it was just drunk luck but her aim is better and it smacks Vanessa straight in the shin. Before Seth or Richie can do anything, the two girls charge at each other and are locked together in a ball on the floor, a whirl of fists and flying hair. 

 

“SETH!” Richie shouts as he tries to climb over the upturned table, “Don’t just stand there, help me!”

 

Seth sprints forward and grabs Vanessa round the waist and tries to haul her backwards but her hands are still locked around Kate’s neck. It doesn't help matters that Kate has grabbed hold of handfuls of Vanessa’s hair and is pulling with all her might. Richie has finally made his way over the table and takes hold of Kate. Neither girl seems to be letting go of the other any time soon and they're still hissing and snarling at each other.

 

“Kate let go!” Richie yells as he tries to pry her hands out out of Vanessa’s hair. There’s a loud ripping noise as Vanessa yells in pain and Kate goes flying backwards into Richie; her hands full of Vanessa’s hair extensions.

 

They all lay in a heap panting loudly as they try and catch there breath. Seth’s about to say something, he has no idea what, when Richie jumps to his feet, swings Kate over his shoulder and charges out of the house, slamming the door loudly as he goes.

 

“They are never coming here again!” Vanessa spits as she holds her hand to her head, “Do you hear me?! NEVER!”

 

“Loud and fucking clear!” Seth snaps as he starts hunting around for his car keys.

 

“She hit me!” Vanessa wails as she wipes the blood of her chin,  “Aren't you going to do something about it?!”

 

“WELL YOU FUCKING DESERVED IT!” Seth screams at her as he shoves his jacket on, “WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR ONE NIGHT?!”

 

“Wait,” Vanessa says desperately, “Where are you going?”

 

“Away from you!” Seth yells as he slams the door shut behind him.

 

Richie has only managed to go a few miles, he’d been considerably slowed down by an inebriated Kate, by the time Seth catches up to them in the car. Kate kept stumbling into the road even with Richie holding onto her so they were pretty easy to spot. He pulls up next to them and yells at Richie to get in.

 

“We’re fine thank you,” Richie says coldly just as Kate almost falls into a bush.

 

“Just get in the car Richard!” Seth snaps as he cruises alongside them.

 

“No.”

 

“Oh for god sake!” Seth mutters as he pulls forward and blocks Richie’s path with the car,” Just get in will you!”

 

“I’m quite capable of finding my own way home Seth,” Richie replies as he tries to pull Kate around the other side of the car, “I haven’t lost my mind just yet!”

 

“Just get in the car you stupid prick!” Seth yells back, “Its freezing out here!”

 

Seth knows full well that Richie would quite happily sulk his way home but Kate can barely stand and Richie would never let her walk all that way just to prove a point. He’s already having a hard time keeping hold of Kate as it is and she pulls free of him to come up to speak to Seth.

 

“If that bitch speaks again,” Kate slurs as she bangs on his window and aims a kick the car tire with her foot, “I’ll fuck her up!”

 

Seth seizes his opportunity and quickly pulls Kate into the back seat and shuts the door. She lets out a squeal and almost goes head over heels as she tumbles into the back seat.

 

“Really?” Richie sighs as Seth just smiles smugly at him. Now he’s got no choice but to get in the car. Grumbling loudly to himself Richie wrenches the door open and climbs into the front seat. Kate lets out a loud groan before she curls up into a ball and falls asleep almost instantly.

 

“If she’s sick you are cleaning it up,” Seth tells Richie, “I mean it Richie.”

 

“Just drive the fucking car Seth,” Richie grumbles as he pulls his seatbelt on. 

 

They remain in silence all the way back to Eddie’s; the only noise coming from Kate’s drunken snores on the backseat. Seth keeps trying to catch Richie’s eye but his brother is staring resolutely out of the window and refuses to acknowledge him. By the time they arrive home Kate is completely gone and Richie has to carry her over the threshold like a rag doll. Once they’re inside Seth settles himself down on Eddie’s old couch as he waits for Richie to put Kate to bed. Now he’s here he misses the old bastard, Eddie always had a soft place for them to land. He doesn't have time to linger on happier times as it seems like Richie is back in no time at all. He looks all wound up and tense which Seth knows from experience is not a good thing.

 

“I’m sorry I ruined your dinner party,” Richie blurts out, “And I'm sure Kate is sorry she punched Vanessa.”

 

“Richie,” Seth says tiredly, “You didn't ruin anything.”

 

But Richie doesn't seem to be listening to him as he carries on as if Seth hadn't even spoken.

 

“…and Eddie, maybe if I hadn't taken up all his time or bothered him so much…”

 

“No,” Seth interrupts as he puts his hands up to stop Richie talking, “No we are not doing this. Eddie died because he had a stroke Richie. Not because of you or me or anything else.” 

 

“I know but,” Richie starts but Seth stops him again.

 

“I need you to hear me ok?” Seth tells him as he tries to grab hold of Richie, “This wasn't your fault.”

 

“Look I get it ok,” Richie rambles as he paces back and forth out of Seth’s reach, “You have this new life with Vanessa and you don't want your crazy brother messing it up.”

 

“Richard,” Seth says carefully, “ That’s not what this is, this doesn't have anything to do with you!”

 

“Then why don't you come over anymore?!” Richie cries, his hands twitching about as he tries to calm himself, “Or return my calls or help me with Eddie’s stuff!”

 

“I’m sorry ok!” Seth says as he grabs Richie’s arm to stop him pacing about, “I messed up ok!”

 

“I still really, really need you,” Richie says frantically, “I know its not like that for you anymore and you can do just fine on your own, but I still need you in my life!”

 

“I’m always going to be here for you, you know that,” Seth says as Richie’s words hit him like a knife in the heart, “Its just Vanessa,”

 

“She treats you like Dad,” Richie blurts out suddenly as he pulls free from Seth.

 

Seth stares at him.

 

“Richie,” he says carefully, “This is nothing like dad!”

 

“Yes it is!” Richie frets as he gets even more wound up, “It’s exactly like dad, you just cant see it just like you couldn't with him!

 

“It was just a slap Richie!” Seth snaps, he’s getting pissed off now.

 

“Why cant you see that people who care about don't treat you like that!”

 

“What would you even know about it anyway?” Seth says dismissively, “You and Kate have only ever had one argument, which lasted an hour, and I'm pretty sure was just about which one of you loved the other one more.”

 

“Its not funny Seth!” Richie says angrily, “I'm not letting you go back there!”

 

Richie, I get it ok” Seth says, “Your concerned but I’m hardly in an abusive relationship!

 

“You’re always yelling at each other,” Richie fires back, “Did you not get enough of that when we were kids?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Seth asks, “This isn't anything like when we were kids!”

 

“Yes it is!” Richie exclaims as he continues to get even more upset, “I don’t want to live like that any more Seth and nether should you! All the arguing and the yelling, why do you think I moved back in with Eddie?”

 

Seth can feel that this conversation is drastically going into the territory of “Shit They Don’t Talk About” and he’s far too tired to be able to handle that right now. 

 

“Richie,” He says gently as he tries to get Richie to calm down, “I understand that you’re worried and I’m sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, ok? But you can’t keep trying to fix everything for me. Let me take care of you for a change.

 

“But”

 

“No buts!” Seth interrupts, “This is my marriage and I will handle it.”

 

Richie stares at him for what seems like forever, whatever is going on inside his head still remains a mystery to Seth, before he nods in resignation. He still looks on edge for Seth’s liking though.

 

“Now come here,” Seth says as he holds out his arms for a hug, “Come on, bring it in.”

 

He gets a proper hug this time, not like Richie’s half assed attempt from earlier on in the evening. Even though they’ve done this a million times before Seth never gets tired of the bond he feels between him and his brother; Richie’s probably the only person that will ever truly understand him. He pats Richie gently on the back of the neck and all the tension between the pair of the slips away. 

 

“Ok?” Seth asks him as he turns Richie’s head towards him.

 

“Yeah,” Richie replies as he allows Seth to release him. 

 

They’re interrupted by a loud crashing noise as Kate comes sprinting past them on her way to the bathroom, followed closely by Richie. Seth wrinkles his nose as he listens to Kate throw up what appears to be her entire body weight in puke. Its a full twenty minutes before she finally emerges and Richie has to half carry her back to bed. The list of things that Seth will be teasing her about is at this point enormous and he’s going to have enough material to last him all the way up to Christmas at this rate.

 

“You wanna sleep on the couch?” 

 

Richie has returned with a pillow and a blanket for him with Seth gladly takes.

 

“I’ll come by on the weekend,” he say’s as he toes his shoes off, “Help you with Eddie’s stuff.

 

“It’s ok,” Richie mumbles awkwardly, “You don’t have to if you don't want to.”

 

“I said I’d help and I will,” Seth assured him as he pulled the blanket over himself, “Now go to bed.”

 

Richie hovers for a moment, pretending to still be pissed off with his brother but Seth can tell he’s cheered up a bit. The lights flick off and Richie makes his way back to Kate and his bedroom.

 

“Night Seth,” he calls before he shuts the door.

 

“Night buddy.”

 

It’s still dark outside when he's awoken by the sound of someone being sick again in the bathroom. Kate emerges, wearing one of Richie’s old t-shirts and sleep shorts, and looking extremely worse for wear. Eyeliner is smudged all down her cheek and there’s red marks on her neck where Vanessa had tried to strangle her.

 

“Not sleeping in the bathtub this time Princess?” Seth jokes as he flicks on the lamp on the table next to him.

 

“Not so loud,” she whispers as she holds her head in her hands and comes to sit in the chair opposite him, “My head is pounding.”

 

“Hair of the dog is what you need,” Seth tells her as Kate makes a gagging sound. Seth just laughs and gives her a minute to get her self sorted.

 

“Sorry I punched Vanessa,” Kate says, although she doesn't exactly sound very sorry.

 

“Are you?” Seth asks her sarcastically as he huddles down under the blankets. 

 

“Not really,” Kate shrugs, “I mean I'd do it again if I had too. It just hurt a lot more than I expected.”

 

“You’ve got a mean swing,” Seth agrees, “Remind me not to piss you off.”

 

Kate gives him the finger before she goes to get herself a glass of water. Seth was almost dozing off again when she sits herself down on the coffee table right in front of him; she smells like puke and Richie’s aftershave.

 

“So,” Kate asks him as she pokes him hard in the arm to wake him up, “What are you going to do?”

 

“Uggh,” Seth groans, “Not you too. I already had all this from Richie.”

 

“You know you can always move back here,” Kate continues as she ignores his protests, “Richie would love it.”

 

“Nah,” Seth replies sulkily, “You two have got your own thing going on.”

 

Kate rolls her eyes at him but regrets it instantly as the motion causes her to retch again whilst Seth laughs at her again.

 

“So you’re just going to be miserable for ever?” she asks him once she’s composed herself.

 

“Yep,” Seth retorts, “Just don't tell Richie I said that.”

 

“You’re so stupid,” Kate mutters under her breath as she drains the last of her water.

 

“I don’t see why Richie has got himself so wound up over this anyway.

 

“Are you kidding me?” Kate snaps, “Of course he’s going to get himself upset over this.”

 

“Well he shouldn’t,” Seth mutters.

 

Kate hesitates for a moment, thinking over her words before she responds.

 

“I think he feels guilty,” she says finally as Seth looks up at her.

 

“What on earth does he have to be guilty about?”

 

“He thinks that if he hadn't had to go into the hospital,” Kate reasons, “Then you wouldn't have met Vanessa in the first place and you wouldn't be stuck in a shitty relationship.”

 

“Well he's being stupid,” Seth grumbles as he pulls the blanket back over his head.

 

“I know,” Kate agrees as she heads back to bed, “Eddie and I both told him that.”

 

Once she’s gone Seth punches the pillow in frustration; he didn't want Richie feeling bad over something that wasn't his fault. This is just one giant mess he’s got them all into. 

 

Seth had forgotten how comfy Eddie’s couch was because he managed to sleep for a couple more hours before he decided it was time to head home and face the music. He knocks gently on Richie’s door before he opens it; he didn't want a repeat of what he’d seen in Vegas when he barged into Richie’s room without knocking. They're both asleep, thankfully fully clothed, and curled up around each other. Seth smiles as he shuts the door quietly; he’s glad his brother is finally able to have some happiness. The sun is up by the time he gets home. His plan had been to just grab a bag and walk right out the door but Vanessa is sat on the couch waiting for him. The living room was spotless; all traces of the earlier fracas have been cleaned and hidden away, much like their marriage. Before he can even begin to tell her it’s over Vanessa is clinging onto him, full of tears and regrets as she begs him not to leave her. It’s like she digs into his head and prevents him from thinking straight, twisting herself in so deep that in the end he just holds her in his arms and tells her they’ll work through it. Vanessa is smiling now at him now as she wipes away her smudged mascara and leans in to kiss him. It always goes like this, Seth thinks as he lays down next to her in bed, they fight and then they make up but this time he’s not so sure he wants to. They just don’t fit together like Kate and Richie do and they probably never will. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed reading this, I actually really love writing Vanessa! Reviews, comments and questions are all greatly appreciated!


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